The End

I’ve put off writing this last post for no other reason than denial, which suited me quite well for the past two weeks. First, I was in denial during my last week in Limerick. I went to lunch dates, drink dates, and final performances without labeling any of them as “lasts”.  I was in denial when I spent an all-nighter with my only American friend the night before her flight back to The States, just like I was in denial when Elle spent an all-nighter with me the night before my flight left. Then, once I touched down in Chicago and made my way to Ann Arbor, it was easy enough to pretend I was on holiday. I saw friends from high school and college, exchanged big hugs, and caught up as best we could. Still on holiday – not back for real – I haven’t even changed the time zone on my laptop clock.

I still haven’t changed the time on my laptop, but the reality that I am not in fact on holiday is beginning to sink in. Being home is completely bizarre. I was warned by multiple people how odd it would be, and everything they said has proved to be true. It’s like I’ve been inserted right back into my old life, even though I’m a completely different person than I was 5 months ago. Living in Europe only validated my previous suspicions that American life was not for me. It’s not good to be back. It’s horrible. My friends have expectations and projections of me that I don’t fit into anymore, and it feels like no one understands where I’m coming from anymore. (I fully realize and understand how emo all of this seems, and trust me, I hate how whiney I sound, but I’m just telling the truth.) I think that going abroad with someone would have been beneficial, so I could come back and still have a friend who “gets it”, instead of seemingly starting over with everyone I’m coming home to, while drinking loads of coffee to stay awake during my inconveniently timed skype conversations with friends scattered the world over. I’m fairly certain that the only thing keeping me sane right now is that the majority of my Irish friends are in America for the summer and I can text, call, and visit them. 

Everyone asks me “What will you miss most about Ireland?” Well, even thinking about this brings me close to tears (it’s a bit too soon still), but I’ll attempt to get as much of it out as possible. I’ll miss:

-The people. I think it goes without saying that my friends are what I will miss the most.

-Practical academics. U of M classes are based on theory and fluff, and that will be really frustrating to return to.

-The cows. This may seem funny to anyone who doesn’t know me very well, but it’s fairly common knowledge that I am obsessed with cows.

-The fashion. European > American

-The food. Kebabs, chips, Irish chocolate and beer

-Traveling

-The pubs and clubs I frequented and have tons of memories in – Scholars, Stables, Molly’s, Smyths, Flannery’s, Cobblestone Joe’s, Charlie’s, Locke Bar, Angel Lane, Trinity Rooms

-Public transportation and the ability to walk most places

-The language. Words, phrases, and accent I get made fun of for in America

-Lifestyle. Anxiety and stress are for other countries.

-The music.

Obviously there are many other things that I will miss, but as of right now these are at the forefront of my mind. At this point, there isn’t much else I can say about the past semester. It feels a bit like a dream that I just woke up from. All I am focused on now is planning my next escape – grad school.

I made 2 videos to commemorate the two major aspects of my time abroad. Here are the links:

Study Abroad

Dance UL